Devastated
You know, I've been overweight for most of my life. That is a fact. I've yo-yoed from extremes in my weight loss. I've been 20 lbs heavier than where I'm right now and I've also been 85 less too. Yes, you read that right.
So, where does that leave me? It leaves me disappointed. But how much motivation does being 'disappointed' give me? Not much. I've bounced around the same 10lbs for about 8 months now..without even really trying. 5lbs up, 8 down, 3 up...you know the drill.
What kind of motivation does one need to be driven enough to do it? Being sick and tired of it finally and just doing it? Forcing yourself to? A health scare? Venturing into "THAT" section of the store to get your clothes?
I thought all those things were my lightbulb moments. I woke up refreshed, ready to fight the day. With renewed optimism, I forged ahead. Healthy choices, better planning, exercising, water drinking.....you name it, I did it! Me vs. the world and my "worldly" weight. I can DO THIS!
Then it happened. One stupid choice. One forgotten lunch. One bad 'weekly' weigh in. I'd eat myself into oblivion and everything would start over again.
I'm not going to call what happened today a lightbulb moment. I've had too many false calls to believe they even happen anymore. Today, I was CRUSHED by someone; probably without them even knowing it. She had said that someone came up to her asked if I was pregnant.
Yeah.
That's right.
I'm mortified. If there was a stronger word, I'd use it. But mortified my friends, sums it up.
So, today is Friday October 14th. I'm going to remember what happened today because it hit a very deep chord with me. The next time I plan on not doing my Billy Blanks DVD (bastard), I'll be moving forward. The next time I plan on choosing the wrong choice, I'll remember how I feel right now. The next time I tell myself, I'll just grab something on the way in, I'll reflect on today.
This is a life time journey, as cheesey as that sounds. All the weight didn't come on overnight and it's not going to come off that quickly either. I also have to force myself NOT to take comfort that it'll 'eventually' come off either. It has to be aggressive and progressive. I can't keep letting this happen to me.
I continue to press on...
posted by MagicalCoffeeCup @ 10:40 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
This could have been written by me! You can do this, people are here to back you up and give you support.
If you think you are alone, go check my blog....same kind of story and what is funny, I recently wrote the same kind of post.
http://thinwithin.blogspot.com
You can do it. I gained 10 pounds a while back. People may not think its a lot, and I really didn't think it was noticable. I felt horrible when someone I hadn't seen in a long time asked if I was pregnant. It was definitely mortifying. Face turned red right infront of her. Some people are really just clueless. That is a question I have not asked any woman since the was 5 and I knew better.
Don't take what someone else has said as any sort of motivating factor. You gotta do it for yourself. And Yes, I have heard what you have said. That self motivation can dwindle. But what sometimes can make it easier is finding someone in your life who motivates you in a positive way.
Just my thoughts anyways.
It's true, losing weight should be something you do for yourself. Don't let others' insensitive comments get you down. Our society places too much emphasis on super slim bodies and Hollywood looks.
Beauty comes in different shapes and sizes. I personally prefer ladies with curves over skeletons with none. If you choose to do anything do it for yourself. The rest of the world changes their minds so frequently it's just impossible to please them! :0)
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home