A "mid" mid-life crisis...(it's a long post!)

Ok, so I'm rapidly approaching 30 and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I have no career direction and the worst part of it is, I don't know WHAT I want to do.

I have plenty of ideas, sure. That's hardly the problem. I have ideas flying out of everywhere. You see, sometimes I think my 'ideas' are what's getting me into trouble.

I'm currently working for a City Government. I work with the real estate department and within the Portfolio management section. Yes, sounds very glorious; I know. But it's not. We get to track (and I use that term loosely) all the properties we (as the City) own and let other people know what's available for sale/lease or otherwise. I have found a job within my 'field' of study (B.Sc. in Geography), which many people cannot say.

Please don't get me wrong; I don't hate my job. My problem is I don't love it. Granted I loved my schooling and I love Geography, I even like working for the City...but I don't love it. Sure, the money is good. I get wonderful benefits, and I even have a good manager (when she's not having a bad day). I'm wonderfully grateful for the opportunity I have. My problem is, I don't LOVE it. I don't wake up in the morning and feel good about where I'm going. I don't dread what I'm doing--not at all. I like what I do; I just don't love it.

I guess a portion of my problem is that I have too many dreams. Dreams that surface and then leave....Allow me to share some of them with you.

I dreamed about becoming a teacher when I was in high school and university. I then became a teacher's assistant for 2 semesters and dreamed of when it was all going to be over. I quickly abandoned that train of thought. I hated following up with stupid students, organizing lessons and entering numbers into little spreadsheets. I hated having to cover for other people and hated having to repeat myself to these little people who kept rolling their eyes. I mean...honestly. How many times do I have to tell people that high pressure systems move clockwise and move storm systems? Common people. As you can tell, my tolerance level is quite low. Although I decided to stay around for another year of schooling to get a second 'teachable' for teacher's college if I ever DID decide I wanted to go...I believe it might have been a waste of time. Besides, who wouldn't want to have 2 month vacation, every year?

I then thought about nursing. Ah...nursing. My cousin is wrapping up her nursing program and I thought, hey, sounds interesting. Work regular shifts (somewhat) and you get to help on the front lines. People hurt themselves, you're there to help them and they feel better because of what you do. Right up my alley. Then I learned that there's 4 years of schooling involved, that nursing isn't as glorious as it sounds (i.e. wiping people's bottoms, sponge baths, and rude older people). Although 12 hours on 24 hours off is considered 'regular', it didn't appeal to me in the long run.

I've then thought about the career counselor type of position. I mean, I love helping other people, and if I can't figure out what I want, I guess I can help other people figure out what THEY want. I love doing personality inventories. Myers-Briggs are my hero's. I've done these tests on numerous people, and I get such satisfaction about seeing how it helps them learn more about themselves. I did some research online and learned that that type of field mainly hires meddling head hunters, grotesque/savage people who bug other companies to get someone off your list. "Have I found someone for you!" is not how I would like to start a conversation.

I then thought about the emergency medicine field; being a paramedic to be more specific. I would ride around in a car all day with cool siren and have people get out of my way. "I'm off to RESCUE someone dammit! Move!"
I've always loved ambulances; always admired them sacrificing everything to get to someone who couldn't help themselves. I met someone at work who was a paramedic and asked her a whole bunch of questions. She even agreed to ask her supervisor to get a 'ride-out' with her one day so I could see what it really was like. I asked her about the blood, gore and stuff like that. She's said she came across dead bodies 'all the time' and various 'smells'. Hmm. That's interesting. I guess I never saw that 'side' of it. My hubby also said if I was ok working on cadaver and stuff like that. I'm presently about 90% sure I'm abandoning that career path.

So, where does that leave me?

A very intriguing question. It leaves me in a place where I know a few things about myself. If anything, it has been a great learning process. Allow me to share some of my results:
(a) I want to help other people. Not in a round about way, but in a direct and physical way.
(b) I do not appreciate the business world. It is a cruel place that just demands the wrong things from me.
(c) I cannot work on cadaver.
(d) I can't wipe people's butts for a living. (figuratively or literally)
(e) I still appreciate sirens.

If you have any ideas...Drop me a comment. I need all the help I can get!