Dave and Busters Day!

My hubby and I had a great day at Dave and Buster's on Saturday. It's like Chucky Cheese's for adults...a whole variety of different arcade games to play. We got there at a good time too...not too many little brats hanging around :).

After we charged up our cards and headed out...I went to my favourite machine. The basketball game. I don't even know how many times I played. I do know my arms are killing me and I enjoyed every minute of it!

I'm looking into basketball camps for the winter term. I know I'll enjoy getting back into it, I might meet new people, and I'll be more physically active for it.

Why haven't I thought about this before?

Nothing says good morning like.....

While the cool frost was crusting over the green grass outside, my eardrums were ricocheted with piercing fire alarms in the early hours of the morning.

With a dog in each armpit, a grumpy husband and half put on clothes, we marched down the 12 flights of stairs to the cold safety of the outside.

I have no idea what happened. I don't even remember putting my glasses on. All I know is that it's dark, it's early and it's Thursday morning. I decided to ask my loving husband what time it was.

5:45am.

Great. My feelings of being safe, secure and thankful to be alive were overcome by anger. I saw hundreds of people looking out of their windows to the street below; gawking at me, taunting me from their warm apartment buildings. "There better be a fire somewhere in that building!" was my first thought; but I digress. Do I go back to sleep...do I stay up and be grumpy for the rest of the day....ugh. I went back to sleep. Woke up late and was late for work. Ah well, it could have been worse.

We're safe, alive and glad it wasn't a real fire. If Murphy's Laws are correct, I know that the one time I decide to stay inside, I'd be burnt to a crisp. I guess being safe than sorry is what matters here.

I love you my hubby...and glad I can rely on you during an emergency!

Took a while, but I made it!

Well everyone, it took me 55 mins and 50 seconds but I made it!

It was, by far, one of the most memorable experiences in my entire lifetime.
I've put it off forever because I didn't think I was in good enough shape to do it, and as you can see by my time, I'm still not in 'great' shape. (fyi, the average time for a 'fit' person is 20-30 minutes)

I took frequent breaks, and had my mom for support the whole time. My mom made it in 27 minutes (even after waiting for my aunt last year...). She could have easily made it in 15 mins. Knowing my husband (who woke up at 6am) to meet me at the top was additional motivation. Seeing him as I climbed that last stair was just awesome. I'll never forget him telling me how proud he was and his shock that I made it in under an hour. I can't even describe that feeling

I will do it again next year...that I have decided (despite saying that I'd never do it again on the way up...). My mom has taken pictures with her disposable camera and I'll scan them all for you to see, when I get a copy of them. I must say seeing "You're half way there!!" at flight #72 (I think it was...) did little for my motivation..but I digress.

I had a great time. Despite having a bad headache right now (dehydration), I'm feeling very fullfilled. I felt all your support and the words of Billy Blanks (Change your mind, Change your life....and his famous "Now Gimme Some!") helped as well...

Just thought I'd share this experience with you all............it was truly rewarding and fulfilling!

My training so far...

Well, I've come to the conclusion that the individual who created stairs, has a very SICK sense of humour.






My training for the CN Tower has been brutal. I live in a 12 floor apartment building and have decided to take the 12 flights as part of my 'training'. Uh huh. Here is a breakdown of the 12 flights of steps I do in my building...

Ground floor to 4th floor...: Sheesh. This is easy. I could do this 400 more times.

...5th floor: Oh yeah..I'm feeling it now....*deep breath*

...6th floor: Honestly, I must be finished by now! What? Only the 6th floor!? @#&!%!!!!

...7th floor: How you mock me so

...8th floor: That figure 8 is how I feel now. Like 2 bloated bubbles. Push forward!

...9th floor: Yes...perfect time for a break. *Stretch*

...10th floor: Glorious water...*gulp*gulp*

...11th floor: Nearly there........*stretch*gulp*

...12th floor: *collapse*huff*puff*

Yeah...don't think my chances are good in finishing it under an HOUR...but I continue and will persevere!

Think of me on Sunday! I'll need all the good vibes I can get!

Devastated

You know, I've been overweight for most of my life. That is a fact. I've yo-yoed from extremes in my weight loss. I've been 20 lbs heavier than where I'm right now and I've also been 85 less too. Yes, you read that right.

So, where does that leave me? It leaves me disappointed. But how much motivation does being 'disappointed' give me? Not much. I've bounced around the same 10lbs for about 8 months now..without even really trying. 5lbs up, 8 down, 3 up...you know the drill.

What kind of motivation does one need to be driven enough to do it? Being sick and tired of it finally and just doing it? Forcing yourself to? A health scare? Venturing into "THAT" section of the store to get your clothes?

I thought all those things were my lightbulb moments. I woke up refreshed, ready to fight the day. With renewed optimism, I forged ahead. Healthy choices, better planning, exercising, water drinking.....you name it, I did it! Me vs. the world and my "worldly" weight. I can DO THIS!

Then it happened. One stupid choice. One forgotten lunch. One bad 'weekly' weigh in. I'd eat myself into oblivion and everything would start over again.

I'm not going to call what happened today a lightbulb moment. I've had too many false calls to believe they even happen anymore. Today, I was CRUSHED by someone; probably without them even knowing it. She had said that someone came up to her asked if I was pregnant.

Yeah.
That's right.

I'm mortified. If there was a stronger word, I'd use it. But mortified my friends, sums it up.

So, today is Friday October 14th. I'm going to remember what happened today because it hit a very deep chord with me. The next time I plan on not doing my Billy Blanks DVD (bastard), I'll be moving forward. The next time I plan on choosing the wrong choice, I'll remember how I feel right now. The next time I tell myself, I'll just grab something on the way in, I'll reflect on today.

This is a life time journey, as cheesey as that sounds. All the weight didn't come on overnight and it's not going to come off that quickly either. I also have to force myself NOT to take comfort that it'll 'eventually' come off either. It has to be aggressive and progressive. I can't keep letting this happen to me.

I continue to press on...

Back to the "Jawing" Board

Sorry everyone, you'll have to thank my husband for that moaner of a title.

After 3 successful nights of peaceful, pain-free slumber, I thought things were perfect with my jaw. Not having to remember one more thing before having to go to bed (wash face, brush teeth, take medicine, put in jaw contraption device...) was wonderful.
The pain I'm experiencing; not so nice.

My so called "dentist" (which reminds me, I'll have to do some research into those so called credentials she has....), said that after two nights I'd know for sure what's going on with the future of my jaw. Well, she was wrong.

On Monday morning, I awoke to..... what's the word I'm looking for... discomfort? No
Pain? Not quite.
Agony? Ah yes. That's the word. AGONY.

I've worn this thing for nearly a year. A full YEAR and I can't last 3 nights without this thing? I mean, really. What are my teeth trying to do? Grind themselves down to non-existence? What are these stupid teeth trying to tell me?

I guess it's back to the "jawing" board, and my intimate relationship with my stupid jaw thingie is back on. I hope we can break it off cleanly next time. This on again off again relationship isn't really working for me anymore.

Goodbye my friend....

Well my intimate friend, it looks like we've reached the end of the road. We've spent many a night together, my giving you drool every night, having you slip in comfortably every night before I close my eyes.

I saw my dentist yesterday and she told me to not sleep with you anymore. That sleeping with you every night for the last 11 months has to stop. We need a break. You're an addiction I've needed for nearly the last year and it's time to let it go.

Now, friends and neighbours, having a mouthpiece every night was BRUTAL at first. It was needed though because of the pain I experienced with grinding my teeth every night. My dentist told me to sleep without it last night and tonight and see how it goes.

I'm happy to report that I haven't experienced any pain this morning! So so happy!! I hope this teeth grinding is over. I couldn't handle it. Anyone who's experienced this will know how bad the feeling is. It's nothing you can control. You close your eyes, you sleep, you wake up in the morning in total agony. How can you stop your body from doing something you're NOT doing!?

Granted........ now that I'm thinking about it..... it seems like I am in pain; ah, the mind is such a powerful thing....stupid, stupid mind.

Have you seen this man?

His name is Billy Blanks and he's armed and dangerous. He makes hypnotic DVD sets which look so cool on TV. He calls these DVD sets "Boot Camp". He will cause normal women to scream out "I hate you", "You bastard" and "I hope you die" on a repeated basis; all the while doing these torturous activities called "exercise".

I've just finished his boot camp sessions with these contraptions called "bands". Mind you, I'm out of shape and desperate to get back INTO shape (see previous posting). Bands eh? Sounds painless enough.

Now, you all know that feeling you get in the morning after a really HARD workout...the "I've fallen and I can't get up" feeling. Yeah. I have that feeling NOW. Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen. Not 12 minutes after I've finished this sadistic-masochist uncoordinated "boot camp" routine and I'm in total agony. What's the real kicker? I barely did 75% of the video. I could BARELY do some sections. I'm so out of shape that was genuinely hard to do most of the "beginner" DVD.

Oh Billy....my Billy. I do not hate you. When I say "I hate you" I really do not..."You bastard" is a term of affection (ask my husband), and "I hope you die" is just figure of speech. The sweet little nothings you whisper in my ears like "now gimme some" and "feel the burn!" are what always send me back to you.

Disfunctional relationship? Yes.
One I'd give up? No.

If you've seen this man...hang on to him. He can make you work out to the best of your ability and make you feel like you've moved mountains after you've done your workout. "You can do it", "You've got to do the negative to get the positive" and "You have to change your mind to change your body" ring throughout my head and help me when I don't think I can.

Thank you Billy

Yup, I'm doing it!

I've decided that with all the crap that has been happening, that I truly don't have enough challenges in my life. My mom and I have decided to climb the CN Tower for the United Way on October 23, 2005 and the ungodly hour of 6am.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the CN Tower, it is a monstrosity. It is the world's tallest free standing structure with 1,776 steps. It's got a bobble on the top where you can look out onto the world. It's also got a 360 degree restaurant. My husband and I have gone to it and enjoyed the wonderful views!





I'm not in the greatest shape; this is no secret. I have declared myself in training. I've started (and will continue) to eat more healthy. I've been climbing the stairs instead of taking the escalator. I've been climbing the 12 flights of stairs (about 156 steps...) in my apartment building. That's roughly 10% of the way up. Granted I've started to gasp for breath at the 6th floor; but I digress. I've bought another Billy Blanks DVD set (he's an evil man who I scream at over and over again to the point where my husband laughs his ASS off), I'll be practicing on the stairclimber at the gym within our apartment building (not really the same....but I'll do it!) and walking at lunchtime. I can't wait to report that I can make it up the 12 floors of my apartment building without flinching!

A reasonably fit person is usually timed at about 20-30 minutes. I'm hoping to be under 45 minutes. But, I know I'll do it because I want to do it and I will do it!

I will do this. I'm so angry at myself for not taking better care of myself. I've slacked off more than I'd care to admit to. This is a great motivator, and I plan on doing it!