Over-emotional? Yup, that about sums it up.
I have no idea where I'm going to be going with this blog. I'll be honest. I'll just type how i'm feeling and see where it takes me.
People have told me for years that I'm over-emotional. Yup, I know that; I'll accept the fact too. Being "over-emotional" isn't really the issue; it's how one deals with the emotions that make the real difference. I tend not to vent a lot (honest) but internalize them, chew on them for a while, spit them out, swallow them up again and repeat the cycle for a while. Minutes, hours, days, years in some cases. It's an internal process that has happened forever and recurs over and over again for as long as I can remember. Sometimes things go a little bit overboard and I get totally caught up in it all. Today is a perfect example.
My friend told me today (actually wrote on his blog) that his wife is expecting a child--their first--in the middle of July. Instead of reacting to it by being happy for him, I internalized it. Why didn't he tell me? Could he not trust me with that monstrous secret? Have my gossiping ways got the better of me? Why am I so angry!? July!? That's like 4 weeks away! WTF!?
So, all morning, I've been churning those feelings around for a while...and I've come to the conclusion that this isn't about me; and I have to stop making it about me. The world isn't against me, it's just how things worked out.
Again, for whatever reason, I made this about me; and I'm truly very sorry about that. It's just the way I handle things. I honestly don't know why I do it myself; because if I could change it; I would have...A *LONG* time ago. It's gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit!
I'm very happy for you and your wife.... Congratulations on your upcoming arrival, my friend. I'm very proud of you :)
posted by MagicalCoffeeCup @ 9:14 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
Thank you. And do know that I wrestled with the question of who to tell and when several times in the past 5 months or so. I have the habit of waiting for the perfect moment to tell things but unfortunately the perfect time never comes. Then add to that the fact that I don't like being the center of attention and you can hopefully see why I waited so long to tell.
Why should you be burdened with trying to keep my secret too? When I first found out my friend's wife is pregnant I told almost everyone I saw. I think it would be naive of me to expect others not to react in a similar fashion, especially those that are closer to me.
Please take comfort in knowing that you are among the very select few that do know.
Um... I've already done my Freaky Friday Streak up and down the halls yelling it at the top of my lungs. A few people might've heard me.. I can't really say for sure how many.
I hope I didn't make the situation worse..
Deja Vu.....Read your blog from December 6th!
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